| Fan Fiction > Fallen Angel -- Chapter Ten | by Amara Morrigan |
12/6/2005 |
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Title: Fallen Angel
Pairing: Angel/Wesley
Rating: NC-17
Setting: Part way through season 3, alternate universe type of thing (wherein I would take a different road than Joss...because last I checked, I wasn't Joss....)
Disclaimer: If wishes came true, Angel and Wesley would live in my closet, and I would play with them mightily...but alas...they do not
Feedback: gladly accepted...
Summary: While Naan is mostly contained by her sisters, she is still strong enough to enter Wesley's dreams. Wesley and Angel attempt to retrieve the needed books and spells from Wesley's father, who gets an eye opening view of what his spell has done when Naan breaks free of her sisters' control enough to attack Angel's mind.
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“I know what you’re afraid of.”
It snaked through his dreams, drawing him away from the touch of Angel’s hand on his arm, from the pleasant nearness of the intimacy they had built between them in the last few hours. Wesley found himself cold and alone in the place where he had first encountered Naan.
“He knows what you’re afraid of.”
The voice slithered around his consciousness, always moving until he was spinning around trying to find its source. Wesley forced himself to stop, and closed his eyes. “Very good. I’m impressed.”
“I’m not.” Wesley replied. “I’m not so easily manipulated.”
The voice laughed. “Neither was he…not at first…but the right motivation….”
Wesley felt the hand swing in front of him, the edge of the knife catching on his cheek. The laughter surrounded him as his hand went to the cut and found it bleeding. “Stings, doesn’t it?”
“He will do it you know.” She said, close to him. “One day.”
Wesley fought opening his eyes. He knew he needed to extricate himself from the dream-state, find his way back to his body. “He will use your love for him against you…betray you…possess you…turn you…” The final words were whispered, but Wesley could feel them in the pit of his stomach. “Then you can fulfill your real destiny, to be your father’s ultimate failure.”
Wesley shoved the notion aside, tried to anyway. “I believe your sisters are looking for you,” he said, and he simply started walking away. She followed, as he knew she would. If this was the landscape of his subconscious he need only find the door back to conscious thought. As he thought that, the door appeared. He opened it and paused, looking back at Naan who he could finally see. “And, stay out of my head.”
Wesley woke with a gasp, and disentangled himself from the slowly waking body of Angel. Throwing on a robe, he opened the bedroom door. Anna was asleep on the couch. Anan and Naan were safe within their confinement in the kitchen. Anan looked up as he came in.
“Is everything all right?” she asked, sensing his discomfort.
“She was in my head.”
Anan nodded. “I’m getting tired. She is strong.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Anan sighed. “Finish this.”
It was Wesley’s turn to nod. “Gunn should be on his way here to keep an eye on things. I’m going to pay a call on my father. I don’t plan on leaving without what we need.”
“Wesley.” Angel stood between the bedroom door and Wesley, his eyes locked on Naan.
“Its okay Angel, she can’t hurt you.”
“She tried to hurt you.” Angel’s eyes flashed to him, then back to Naan. “I felt it.”
“I’m fine.”
Angel nodded absently. “Did you say you were going somewhere?”
“Yes, my father is in town and he has something we need to fix this.”
“I want to come with you.”
“Angel, I don’t think that’s a wise idea.” Wesley said as he started making coffee. “You aren’t strong enough—“
“I’m fine.” Angel said, a little more forcefully than Wesley expected. There eyes met and Wesley couldn’t say no.
“Fine. We best get cleaned up then.”
Wesley left the coffee to brew and herded Angel off to the bathroom to shower. He was less than certain that Angel should accompany him, but the determination in Angel’s eyes was a sign of significant progress and Wesley didn’t have the heart to deny him. Besides, he didn’t have to worry about leaving him alone with Naan in the apartment.
With that rationalization in mind, Wesley rummaged his closet for something for Angel to wear, settling on a dark shirt and pants that he was fairly certain had been Angel’s first, borrowed when some demon’s blood or something had ruined his own clothes.
The hung quite loose on Angel’s gaunt frame, a stark reminder of the ordeal the vampire had suffered. Wesley put the thought out of his mind and pulled on his own trousers, the dark blue ones he knew Angel liked on him, though how he knew that he wasn’t certain. He turned to find Angel smiling at him.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just admiring the view.”
“Angel, please.” He found it hard to think about putting clothes on with Angel looking at him that way.
“What?” He crossed the room, his stride stronger and more confident than Wesley had seen it since he’d found the strength to stand. “Am I not allowed to enjoy watching you put clothes on? Or is it that you’d rather be taking them off?” Angel’s arms slipped around his waist and pulled him close.
Wesley smiled, but pulled back. “Angel, we are getting ready to go visit my father.”
Angel wasn’t letting go as easily though, his head tilting as he kissed Wesley’s neck. Wesley felt his body stir, thoughts of a long, leisurely afternoon spent exploring each other’s bodies, limits…boundaries spurring him toward slowly sinking into the diversion. It was an effort, but Wesley pulled himself from the thought and out of Angel’s arms. Angel pouted and backed off to perch on the edge of the bed and watch Wesley finish getting dressed.
Wesley had a shirt in his hand, but so far hadn’t put it on, crossing over to where Angel sat, his free hand touching Angel’s face tenderly. “Its not that I don’t want to, “ he whispered, understanding now the intensity of the thought had been its shared nature. His lips brushed Angel’s pout. “I’d love nothing more. But—“
“Duty calls,” Angel finished for him, his voice a throaty whisper.
Wesley nodded, his blue eyes holding Angel’s and trying to express his love. “Yes, duty.” When Wesley was sure Angel understood, he stood back and pulled on the shirt before begin his search for a tie.
The last thing he needed when showing up at his father’s door unexpectedly with Angel at his side was to have the both of them smelling of sex. The visit was bound to be uncomfortable enough. Wesley pushed the thought away again, then finished with the tie and reached for the suit jacket.
When they emerged from the bedroom, Anna was awake and waiting for them with two steaming mugs, coffee for Wesley and blood for Angel. “Anan said you were going out.”
Wesley glanced at Anan, whose eyes were closed, then to Naan. He started when her eyes opened and looked into him. “I know what you’re afraid of.” He heard it in his head, but was mostly certain it was his own memory and not a renewed attack. Anna stepped between him and Naan and smiled.
“I’m going to take Anan’s place to give her some rest. Gunn called while you were in the shower. He should be here shortly.”
“Can you erect the barrier, or will you wait for me to return?”
Anna cocked her head as she thought about it. “Perhaps I will, if I am still strong enough when Anan has had her rest.”
Wesley nodded. Anna moved to Angel, drawing close to him and speaking to him so softly Wesley couldn’t hear her. He sipped at his coffee, then put it down in favor of the blanket they would use to safeguard Angel until they could get into the car. “That’s my good boy,” he heard Anna murmur and he looked up to see Anna taking Angel’s cup, now empty away from him. He smiled too, happy to see Angel drinking again. He shook out the blanket and offered it to Angel, then took up his car keys.
“We shant be long.” Wesley said as he moved to the door. “Call me if anything goes wrong.”
It was a bit tricky getting down the exposed staircase and across to the covered garage, but they managed without incident. Angel climbed into the back seat and covered himself before Wesley had even put on his seat belt.
The hotel wasn’t far, and the ride was silent, neither of them speaking, though Wesley could feel Angel. It was a nearness he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of. As they emerged from the car in the parking garage, Wesley steeled himself for what he knew would be an unpleasant encounter. Angel was a distraction, his own thoughts scattered and Wesley caught the passing thought that his presence wasn’t a good idea before they were gone, into the elevator and headed for the suite Gunn had already visited twice. Wesley knocked gently and waited.
After a long pause the door opened and a half familiar face appeared at the door. Wesley nodded politely enough, but his words belied the nicety of the gesture. “I’m here to see my father.” He didn’t give the servant a chance to close the door, pushing past him and entering the suite’s main room. “Tell him I’m here and I don’t intend to be patient.”
The man scurried away, which lightened Wesley’s irritation a bit. Angel stood beside him silently, his body rigid and tense. “You have a lot of nerve bringing him here.”
Wesley turned at the sound of the voice. His father had emerged from the bedroom, briefcase in hand. “Going somewhere, Father?”
“Back to England. The council was wrong to think you’d changed. They’re reconsidering their offer.”
“They can reconsider all they like Father. Do you have what I asked for?”
Roger Wyndham-Pryce looked like he had something particularly distasteful in his mouth. “Why should I give it to you?”
“Maybe because this time the screw-up is yours, not Wesley’s.” Angel said softly. He didn’t move, but Roger flinched at the sound of his voice.
Wesley put a hand on Angel’s arm to silence him. “I don’t have time to be nice and pleasant. We are talking about a danger here that you can’t possibly fathom. That spell did much more than release Angel of his inhibitions.”
“He seems to have recovered.” Roger set the briefcase down and sat in the nearby chair, adjusting his suit jacket. “This overly dramatic show is not impressive, Wesley.”
“Perhaps not. We are not leaving without what we came for none-the-less.” Wesley was careful to keep his distance, remembering the emotional flashback the last time he had been near his father. He sat on the opposite chair, unconsciously mimicking his father’s movements.
“Rather demanding for a man in your position.” The elder Wyndham-Pryce kept his voice civil, but his eyes shot daggers across the room.
“My position is none of your concern. Yours, however might be.” Wesley felt a faint flicker of fear from Angel and spared a glance his way. He seemed okay, but Wesley wanted to get him out of there as quickly as he could. “I wonder if your fellow council members know where you got that spell, or your ulterior motives for suggesting its use.”
He saw the sought for twitch in his father’s posture and knew that he had been right about Roger’s pride. He had pitched the idea to the council as his own, and not as something found left behind in the school things of his incompetent and disavowed son.
Roger stood and Wesley followed suit, swallowing a wave of panic he wasn’t sure wasn’t his own, until he looked at Angel. The vampire shook his head, his eyes looking for Wesley’s, searching for an anchor, something to hold him to the moment. “Wes.” It was a whispered half sound and it brought Wesley to Angel’s side in a single step.
Wesley could feel the terror bubbling, growing. He touched Angel’s hand, and was swallowed into it, thought blurring and whirring around them until he was once again in the image of he and Angel slowly drinking from the ever-protesting Roger. He pulled away from the physical pleasure that accompanied the thought, pulled his mind free. He thought he heard Anna saying “She broke free,” before he was able to turn away to face his father.
“Don’t come too close. I don’t know if I can keep us from hurting you.” Wesley said, his voice low and dangerous. “This thing you let loose has attached itself to us, influencing us.” He closed his eyes and fought the feelings, then changed his mind. He sank into them, feeling the strange strength of cold hatred fill him. “She knows what we’re afraid of, what makes us hurt. She uses that to move us, change us…” He opened his eyes, his mind latched on the vampire he became in Angel’s false memories and letting it color his face and voice.
“In the world she creates, Angelus turns me and together we feast on your blood before leaving you to die cold and alone.” Wesley took two controlled steps closer to his father. “She tells me it is my ultimate destiny…to become a monster, to finally lose the humanity I have held dearest to me despite your best attempts to beat it and train it out of me.”
Wesley could feel that cold rage, steely determination. He could almost taste the blood in his mouth. He had no idea what his father could see in his face, but he saw his eyes dart behind Wesley to Angel.
Wesley turned just in time to see the vampire sink to the floor, his hands over his ears as his body crumpled into itself. “Angel.” Wesley went to him, letting go of the emotion that had driven him, letting go of everything but his friend and lover. “Angel.”
But Angel had withdrawn into himself. He was rocking himself in a nearly fetal position on the floor. Wesley tried to reach him, but even his physical touch broke through. “Damn!”
“What is wrong with him?” Roger came closer and Wesley looked up at him.
“He’s protecting himself. I hope.” Wesley wasn’t sure. It was the first time since he’d followed Anan into Angel’s mind that he didn’t feel Angel accept as a tiny ball of presence. Wesley closed his eyes. He could feel that sickening twist in his stomach he had felt when Naan had first looked at him, the dizzying spin of reality that had accompanied her foray into his dreams. He circled the sphere of Angel’s mind, trying to comfort him and see what had happened at the same time.
Angel’s scream repulsed him even as he fell into the memory. Angel hung suspended, his arms stretched out from his body, his naked torso dripping blood. Beneath him Naan danced, her bloody blade in hand as she chanted and cut into Angel’s flesh. Blood stained her clothes and congealed in her hair. Angel screamed again, a sound that tore through Wesley’s confounded thoughts and brought him back to himself.
Naan could not see him this time and Wesley found himself holding Angel’s head, trying to break through. He could feel Angel’s blood on his hands, coating his face and he clung to the thought that he had to reach him. He spoke his name repeatedly, his hands touching Angel’s face.
“Wesley?” Angel’s eyes opened, and the images faded. Wesley was on his knees next to Angel and Angel was looking up at him.
For a long moment, Wesley wasn’t aware of the hand on his shoulder, not until Angel’s eyes darted up to where his father stood. Wesley looked up, stunned at the expression of horror on his father’s face. He looked back to Angel to ensure he was okay, then turned to his father. “Are you all right?”
He didn’t answer, but after a long moment blinked, shook his head and moved across the room to his briefcase. After only a slight hesitation, he opened it and removed a bundle that included a book, a scroll and a journal. He tossed it to Wesley.
“If you need any help—“
“I think I’ve had enough of your help. Thank you.” Wesley stood, and reached down to help Angel to his feet. “Go home.” He looked at his father again, noticing how old he suddenly seemed. He wondered how he had let this man make him believe for so long that he was worthless, how he had been afraid, how he had been desperate for his approval. “And, don’t come back. I don’t need you here.”
Wesley slipped an arm around Angel’s shoulders and turned his back on his father, clutching the precious package under his other arm. Wesley supported Angel back to the car and settled him into the back seat with his blanket. The sun would be setting shortly.
As he settled into the driver’s seat, Wesley exhaled slowly, trying to find his equilibrium. His head was still spinning, and he felt like his hands and face were still coated with blood. His hands shook as he opened his cell phone and dialed Gunn’s number.
It seemed at first the Gunn wasn’t going to answer, but just before it rolled over to voicemail, he heard Gunn’s voice. “No, that’s—wait a minute. Hello?”
“What happened?” Wesley tried to keep his voice calm, but knew even Charles would hear the tremor.
“Not sure, I got here and things were crazy.”
“Is Naan contained now?”
“Sorta. Fred’s working on the magic thing, Anna and Anan are telling her what to do. They’re inside with Naan.”
Wesley exhaled slowly. “Does she need me?”
Gunn’s voice faded a little and Wesley imagined him looking over his shoulder. “Wes wants to know if you need him?”
He heard Fred laugh her nervous laugh. “I think I got this.”
“She’s good.”
Wesley was torn. He was certainly more experienced with magic working than Fred, but he needed someplace without the distractions currently resident in his apartment. “All right. I’m going to the office then. I have what I need, I just need some space to work..”
“What you want from us?” Gunn asked.
“Stay there, take care of the girls, and be careful.”
“Hey, Anna’s asking if you two are all right.”
Wesley sparred a glance in the back seat. Angel hadn’t said a word since they had left the hotel room. “We’re okay. Thank her for the warning.”
“Warning?”
“She’ll understand.”
“Right.”
“We’ll return as soon as I have something.”
Wesley sighed and tossed the phone aside. Images flashed through his mind, emotions flashed through his body. The feeling of power as his face changed into full vampire mode and his teeth sank into the flesh of his father’s neck…the arousal watching Angel feed from his wrist. He tried to shake it, but it felt so real. It was as real a memory as his first day of school, his first kiss, his first sexual encounter. It was easy to see why it had been so hard for Angel to distinguish what was real.
“Wesley?”
Wesley turned to see Angel looking at him over the blanket. “Yes, Angel?”
“Thank you.”
Wesley didn’t have to ask to know what he meant, he could feel it, the gratitude, the shared moment when his voice broke through the memory and gave Angel something to hold on to so that he could find his way back out. He smiled into the rear-view mirror and nodded. “I’m sorry, Angel. I am so sorry.” His hand caressed the scroll. “It all comes down to this.” He pulled the journal out and held it up. “In here I wrote the words that did this…all of this.”
“It isn’t your fault—“
Wesley shook his head. He knew the truth, and no words would change it. “No, its okay, Angel. I’m past looking for blame. I just want to set it right.”
He put the book down and started the engine. It was time to get to work. |
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